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When you’re in an interracial relationship, friends who you can just express yourself to without having to explain yourself can be a welcome break.
“One time I was on a show and a producer described me as ‘fiery, because you’re Latina.’ I came home and told my husband about it and he laughed and I was like no, that’s actually really offensive." "There’s a certain lightness I feel when I talk to my Latina friends — you’re all coming from a similar frame of reference.
“Racial groups are not homogenous,” reiterated Childs. You and your partner don’t have to agree, but you should know where each other stand and try to understand each other’s perspectives.” For my part, I had to face the stereotypes I had about white Southerners.
I wish we could be all kumbaya-we’re-all-human-beings-love-is-love, but in this current cultural and political climate, race is not something you can pretend you don’t see.
When you marry someone, you marry everything that made them who they are, including their culture and race.
“Interracial relationships don’t work.” I’ve heard that from various people all my life.
Now, at 35, I’m a Minnesota-raised Indian-American recently married to a white American from South Louisiana.
While it was a defense mechanism for me, it wasn't fair that I didn't allow him a clean slate.
There was a moment two years into my relationship with my now-husband, when I realized he might be my lifelong partner, and joy gave way to dread: Would he ever really understand my experience as a child of immigrants?They have a relationship of mutual love and respect. Knowing how much they had to work for it, and how happy they ended up as a result, helped me see that we could do the same.Whether you can find someone in your friend group, through social networking or even just watching relevant You Tube videos, hearing from people who have been where you are can serve as emotional support.Would it have been different if my husband were Indian? “In the past few years, I’ve been needing more connection with my culture, I listen to more Latin music now, I watch movies in Spanish — I need those touchstones now, in a way I didn’t before,” said Alejandra Ramos, a TODAY Tastemaker who is Puerto Rican and has been married to a Ukranian-born Jewish man for seven years.As with any successful relationship, your partner can’t be your everything.Prepare yourself for reactions that are unexpected or even upsetting, and accept that it may take some time for your family to come around. You’ll be sharing foods that may be new to your partner, translating your language for them during family gatherings and perhaps even teaching them some Racial Politics 101.