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And where do first impressions take place in real life? So step away from the shower, hand your friend a camera, and let us see you in your best non-bathroom light. The Macho, Macho Man Sorry to break it to you guys, but we aren’t looking for tickets to the “gun show” in your profiles. Trust us, anything will be better than the awkward unidentifiable blonde hair on your shoulder. The Shirtless Just as your mother probably told you at age 3 — “Son, get your clothes back on!! If we meet you at a party or a wedding or a coffee shop, I’m pretty positive that you are always going to be fully dressed for that first impression. And I know that many of you No-Shave-November fans are in it for a good cause. The Beer Fanatic (Ok, I thought it’d be nice to include at least one decent photo of my friend, GQ-model, and extremely-good-sport, Nate.) But this final one is just a little reminder that your online dating profile should be advertising , not your favorite beer.

Nor pics of you dripping sweat (and smelling lovely, we’re sure) at the gym. So it seems reasonable for you to throw half-naked photos all over your profile is a wee bit perplexing, to say the least. The Hunter Bloody dead animals that you shot and killed and hold up as a trophy for the world to know that you know how to hunt? But unless it’s November, or unless you’re a super hipster who knows how to rock a mustache (and even that can be debatable), it’s probably best to play it safe and either go all (beard) or nothin’ (nothin’). I’m all for enjoying drinks with friends, and posting a photo or two to document said enjoyment is NBD.

Oh men, I know that the bathroom is probably the home to the largest mirror in your house, so I get why the bathroom selfies would theoretically be a good idea. Then we can snuggle up and you can tell travel stories for hours. If a girl’s in the photo, we are going to assume that (unless clearly captioned) this is your most recent ex.

(Ok, it’s a stretch, but I get it.) Remember though that this is our of you. And your attractiveness immediately turns into awkwardness, which turns into ahhh-let’s-just-move-onto-the-next-profile-ness. So the solution to this one is easy — just find some other great photos to post! The Mustache Ok, I’m prepped and know I’m probably going to get a lot of flack on this one.

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And BIG thanks again to Nate for being a model-for-an-hour.

I’m pretty sure he would never post these photos on an online dating site.

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